Chapter One
The world is cruel, the world is confusing
The girl sat with her forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the sun rise just like every day. She held her expression with a frown. She had long brown hair that touched the tip of her bottom and amber eyes that looked golden in the sunlight. Her complexion was pale but not too pale, just above the shade of peach or Caucasian. A shade or two under Albino. That girl was me.
I was sitting on couch cushions that you would probably consider large pillows. It was the 9th of May and my birthday was two months away from today. Of course, it was a school day and I hated school. All I wanted to do is go climb a tree and read a good novel. I heard footsteps approaching my bedroom and turned around. The door knob turned and the door squealed as it opened. My cat, Nala, stood in the doorway and strode into the room. I followed her with my eyes as she came over and plopped down right next to me. I turned back around to watch the sun again and pressed my forehead firmly against the cool glass of the window. Nala sighed next to me. It was quiet and then I heard Nala suck in a breath.
“Are you not going to school today?” she asked me. “You know you should. Don’t miss another day.”
My fists clenched at my sides but I kept my gaze out of the window and my voice cool. “There’s no point in going when I could just make up the work. Besides, they should not be taking away time from out summer and I don’t even have any friends. I didn’t make any all year and don’t intend to.”
“There is always a point in everything.” Nala said simply.
“No!” I yelled. “There is not always point in everything! Is there a point about why my father and Tray are dead?! Is there a point into why Red is a soul-sucking mutant? No! There is not!”
“Odesae, it is just the workings of God.” Nala said calmly. That made me laugh. I think she was being serious though because it didn’t sound like she was kidding around this time.
“God! You have got to be kidding me! There is no ‘God’! God would not kill my family.” I said.
“Odesae.” Nala said firmly. “This is not a joke. You need to go to school. It’s almost thee end of the school year. You shouldn’t fail ninth grade.”
My fists unclenched and then clenched again. I couldn’t stand going back to school. With everyone whispering how a loner I am or guys rating me one to ten and calling me hot, thinking that I cannot hear them. And the teachers. Oh Bloody Hell the teachers. I could imagine them now, whispering in each other’s ears probably how I am so smart but lack a good attitude towards them, how I probably caused the deaths of my brother and Jonathan, how I was so much like them both. But for Nala I would do anything what she says because what Nala says: goes. I don’t want to disappoint her. She was the closest thing I had to a non-bubbly person in the world besides my family.
“Okay. But I am only doing this for you,” I said. “And I am only doing it once. Okay?”
Nala looked at up at me and looked me in the eyes, hers twinkling and smile plastered on her face. “Really?” she asked me.
“Yes really. Now go so I can change before I change my mind and decide that I’m staying home.” I replied in a tone that was telling her I was annoyed by her now
Nala walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind her as she went, leaving me where I had started. By the window with my forehead against, looking at the sky turn pink to orange to yellow to blue. Well not blue yet. I got up and strolled across the room to my closet. I reached my had forward and slid the Chinese styled doors open, then I walked in to the walk-in closet and began to randomly pull clothes and a pair of shoes out of their places. In the end, I was left with a pair of white flats with a deep plum purple skirt and a gray cami tank top. I reached for a white pullover sweater that was hanging on a hanger and got dressed. I walked over to my vanity dresser and pulled out a hairbrush and comb. I slowly began to run the comb through my hair and then pulled it back into a ponytail. I didn’t really care about what I wore or what I looked like, but always ended up with something decent.
I walked out of my closet and slid the doors shut behind me, grabbed for my backpack, shoved everything in it thoughtlessly, slung over my shoulder, and crawled out of the window. I didn’t feel like facing my mom or sister or even Nala with her stupid nonsense about ‘God’. I pulled the curtains shut and slid the window back, then placed the screen back in its place. I began walking to the bus stop by the road. When I got out onto the road I saw two kids standing there and one walking, I looked up. The sky was orange and bluish, the sun still rising. I heard voices coming from behind me and ignored it. I didn’t care what any of these people said to me. I kept walking forward. I was getting closer now to see that the two figures already at the bus stop were Iris Yellowwine and Xavier Lee Brown. They stood by the sign that read ‘STOP’, so I walked to the opposite of the road because I don’t want to be by them or really anyone. I felt the breezes as the cars came by and my hair flew just a little, whipping my face. Iris was walking over towards me. “Hey, Odesae.” Iris called, waving her hand at me. I glared at her.
“Can I help you or are you lost?” I asked sarcastically.
She ignored it. “What? No ‘Hello Iris’ or ‘Hey! How’s it going?’. Well.” Iris said. I watched her turn around and walked back to Xavier Lee Brown. He looked at me funny, I guess feeling her pain of rejection. I glared at him too and his expression softened.
I heard a faint loud growl of the bus engine that was getting closer. Then I heard kids screaming and running as their feet pounded the pavement. The wind was nipping at my arms and blowing my hair into my face. Moooooooo-raaaaaiiiii-aaaaaahhh! I silently sang to the wind and all of a sudden it had stopped. Moriah was my name for the wind and I always called her by it. The bus engine was really close now and I realized that the bus was now in front of me. The kids behind me were fighting and pushing each other to get in front of one another. Before the doors opened or before I could lift my foot to take a step, I heard my name being called. “Odesae!” I turned around and saw Nala running towards me. Everyone was staring at her. She shifted into a cat and I wondered if anyone had noticed. But before she could reach us, she shape-shifted back into human form. “Odesae.” She said.
I stared.
“Odesae, you forgot you lunch. I didn’t see you leave.” She said.
I could tell that everyone in the bus was looking at her too, including the ones down here. Then everyone’s gazes averted to me. “Thanks.” I said angrily and snatched the brown paper bag out of her hands quickly. She turned around and began to sprint. When she was out of sight, people behind me resumed talking except this time about how she was so ‘hot’ or ‘pretty’. My fists clenched again.
“Shut up!” I screamed when the bus doors opened. The bus driver stared at me with wide eyes. Everyone was staring at me from the inside of the bus and out. It was silent. No one said a word. There were no birds singing, no cars moving, no chatter and laughter, no growl of the bus engine. They were afraid to say anything, I could just tell.
Iris came and put her hand on my shoulder and said “It’s okay.”
I jerked away from her as if she had smacked me. “Don’t touch me. Ever.” I said through clenched teeth. “Don’t touch me again. I don’t want any of you to talk to me or even look at me. So shut up.”
Iris’ eyes looked hurt, but kept her face still and expressionless.
Then when I set foot on the bus, everything in the world resumed. The noise of the engines came back. The laughter and gossip continued as nothing happened. The cars came whipping by. I climbed the rest of the steps and sat down in my usual front seat, my forehead resting against the window. The bus jerked forward and the trees came rushing past. Why did Nala have to send me to school? Why did she have to some by just to give me my lunch? I knew better than to lose my temper o anyone. I had only lost my temper once and when that happened, time felt like it stood still and I had ended up killing him or her. I couldn’t remember too well who it was. It was only a couple years ago.
Everyone on this bus annoyed me so much. They wasted their lives away by talking about foolish things and gossiping on how horrible this person looks today or how this someone is the weirdest kid in school. They never think that at any moment they could die. There could be a bomb set off by terrorists or dropping dead out of nowhere. I mean, my father knew he was going to die before his time. He was like me. He was different from everyone else. But now he was gone and the worst part about it was that he was murdered. He left journals behind, but I never took the time to look at them because I could not bring myself to do it. It would only bring tears. And I never cried. Never in my life, not even as a baby.
I had always known that I was different but I hadn’t known why. To this day, I still do not know why I am like this and why I am different. What is wrong with me? Was there even anything wrong with me? Was I may be insane or gone mad? Why was I not like everyone else? I saw the truth. I could see the truth in the world. I could see the world’s cruel self and all the people in it. I was not part of that. I never even would be. How could I blend so perfectly with the shadows and not stand out? This never made any sense to me either. The world is like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces are hard to find, but they all fit. The problem is: there isn’t a piece for me. I didn’t match any of the pieces. I couldn’t fit. But why was that?
I recalled a flashback from when I was born.
My mother, Natalia, was screaming with pain. I could hear her when I was pulled out. The strange thing was that I did not cry. I was wet all over. The nurses were rushing back and forth. I was grabbed by one of them out of the doctor’s hands. She rushed me over to a sink and other nurses helped her clean me. The water was warm. They washed the gunk out of my full head of hair. They rushed me over to a bed and wrapped me in white cloth. Then they rushed back to the doctor and handed me to him. He hand me to my mom. But when my mom’s fingertip brushed against me, a pipe shattered. The water came through the ceilings. Walls fell apart. Through my wide baby eyes, I could see the building in turmoil. My mother’s bed was rolled out of the room and both women and men were running around, screaming and in a state of panic. My mother held me tightly to her chest. It was calming to me. I fell asleep.
I couldn’t remember anything after that. That was the only baby memory I have. The only memory that was far back was memories from when I was at the age of three. The bys came to a halt and the doors opened. Kids flooded in and neither of them asked to sit with me and none even glanced at me. Their eyes passed right over me like I wasn’t there. They all took a seat and once again the bus was moving. I watched the scenery of houses, trees, and cars go by in a blur. What if I couldn’t survive this school day? What if I just couldn’t make it? Do not be afraid, Odesae, My father’s voice came flowing into my mind. Was it really him or a quote he used to tell me so I would not fear the world? He always understood me better than I had myself. I wished he were here.
My eyes began to water and my fists clenched again in my lap. Water began to flow from my eyes. Tears. I took my clenched fists and quickly brushed away the tears. No one could see me this way. I had never cried and that was the first time that I have. That emotion was weak. Crying was a weakness and so was sadness. My father’s voice came again. It is okay to cry sometimes. No, it’s not. Not even when you miss someone. I spoke back. I realized that his voice was not in my head, it was in the wind.
How could I control weather? How could I speak to wind? How could I hear my dead father’s voice in it? Hush, listen to within. The answers are in the elements, your friends, and yourself. What? Who am I, Dad? Who am I? I asked. I could feel the wind carrying back the message to him and then reply back to me. Listen within yourself. That did not make any sense to me. What do you mean? I asked him silently. I waited. There was no reply. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions or to confide in someone. Why would I confide in anyone except Nala? I don’t tell her exactly everything. I do not confide in anyone. There was no reply from my dad.
I had almost lost my temper and if I had, everyone standing there would be dead. And it would be my entire fault, all of my fault. Iris. Iris? What did she want from me? I mean, she’s spoken to me a couple of times at the bus stop and I would say a quick ‘hello’ or ‘hey’. But today I just was not in the mood. Xavier. He had that look with me. He liked me. But no, that doesn’t work out because I have never spoken to him in my life. Not even a greeting or a ‘sorry’ if I bumped into him in the halls of our school. But that’s the thing: no one has ever bumped into me. It was like I was untouchable.
The bus had come to a stop again and jerked forward. I came back into focus and saw that we were at school by now. How could I have not been paying attention to my surroundings? I wasn’t even aware of being near the school. How could I not be alert? We could’ve gotten into a car accident and I wouldn’t have even been able to tell. I wanted to hit myself for being so idiotic and not what I was supposed to be. I have been so careless today. Three points for the world and zero for me, Odesae. This was not a satisfying start of a day with me today.
I stood up just like everyone else and was the first one out of the bus doors like always. I couldn’t really feel the cold against my almost bare legs, just a lot of wind. I rarely ever wore skirts. My backpack felt heavy slung over my shoulder for some reason all of a sudden. And at that instant, I knew today was going to be a long day. That is if I could make it through the day without going completely insane.
***
Well, there you go! Do you want the Prolouge too so you know what is going on?
